


Highway to the Danger Zone

by Wishweaver



Category: DCU (Comics), Green Lantern (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types, Justice League of America (Comics), The Flash (Comics), The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: Decisions, Friendship, Gen, Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-12 23:51:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11172699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wishweaver/pseuds/Wishweaver
Summary: What happens when the Central City Children's Hospital asks the Flash to organize an appearance by the Justice League at their annual fundraiser? Well for starters, Flash is blindsided by the hospital board of directors, Green Lantern tries to help, and things go downhill from there.





	1. Chapter One: Central City Children’s Hospital Boardroom

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don’t own it.
> 
> Author’s Note: This is a bit of silliness that occurred to me when I watched this Glee clip https://youtu.be/BO5LUbXNIp8 after reading some Flash/Green Lantern (Barry Allen/Hal Jordan) stories (comics and fics,) and watching some Justice League animated things. I needed to get my mind off how the CW seems hell bent on turning The Flash television series into a soap opera. *grumble*Season Three Finale*grumble*

“I’m sorry…you want me to do _what_ now?”

Hal Jordan, also known as the Green Lantern, leaned against the doorframe and watched the Flash swing at the verbal curveball he’d just been tossed. He managed to swallow down a laugh thanks to the military bearing both the United States Air Force and the Green Lantern Corps had drilled into him but it was a near thing.

And yes, maybe he wasn’t being the best wingman right now, but flustered Flash was a rare occurrence and just _too_ funny. Only Barry Allen, scarlet speedster and all around nice guy could wind up in a mess like this through no real fault of his own. Hal wanted to enjoy the show while it lasted because this was definitely one for the books.

“Since you and your colleagues have been friends of this facility and the National Children’s Hospital network at large, we were hoping you could schedule an appearance by the Justice League at our annual fund drive,” the hospital board chairperson clarified.

Hal brought his hand up to his chin and covered his mouth hoping he looked thoughtful instead of amused. It was clear that Flash had no idea why they’d make such a request of him and equally obvious—to Hal at least—that he was seriously regretting giving the hospital board ‘one small moment of his time.’

Re-schooling his expression, Hal casually crossed his arms, already planning to call Oliver. Belatedly he wished he’d thought to record the interaction on his power ring. Barry, bless him, usually didn’t miss a trick making his moments of true cluelessness _pure gold_.

As if to prove Hal’s point, Barry put one red-gloved hand on the back of his neck and frowned to the side like he was trying to work through an exceptionally knotty problem. Finally he shook his head and told the hospital board chairperson the only thing he could.

“Ma’am, I’m afraid I don’t have the authority to commit League resources, especially personnel. Even if I did we never know when some disaster is going to pop up. I’d hate to promise something and not be able to deliver,” Barry explained apologetically.

_He doesn’t get it. He honestly doesn’t get it,_ Hal marveled gleefully. He relished the thought of laying it out in _painful detail_ for Barry over coffee at Jitters until he noticed some of the board members start to whisper amongst themselves and look between Barry and him like they didn’t quite buy the claim but weren’t bold enough to call the Flash a liar to his face.

_Okay, fun time’s over,_ Hal thought, getting miffed on his friend’s account. Barry did a lot for the citizens of Central City and the idea of some pompous hospital board members judging him was frankly _unacceptable_.

“There seems to be some confusion. Allow me to help,” Hal announced into the uncomfortable silence. He addressed the table at large, but made sure to make eye contact with the individual members as he moved to stand by Barry. _Christ, I’m channeling Batman at League meetings. Meh. Whatever works. Let’s see…Intimidation Stare…generally followed by Facts and Deduction Lecture._

“I noticed some of you don’t seem to believe what Flash told you just now,” Hal stated, earning a few uncomfortable shifts and downward glances. “Since Flash occasionally brings his team mates along with him when he visits this facility—like I’m here today—you might infer he’s the Justice League social secretary or that he somehow dictates our presence here.” Hal paused for effect then let the other shoe drop. “And you’d be wrong.”

Hal glanced at Barry just in time to see the final piece click into place. Flash opened his mouth but closed it with an annoyed huff when Hal waved at him in a ‘keep quiet I got this’ way.

“Central City’s location mid-country makes it an ideal stopping place, especially when travelling coast to coast. Flash encourages League members to take a break here if we need or just want to, _and_ if we make time to visit whatever facility is next on his visitation list before taking off again, he treats us to Jitters.”

“I don’t have to bribe _everyone_ you know,” Flash commented dryly. He’d crossed his arms and was trying to look disapproving but Hal saw he was starting to smile in spite of himself.

“Took you long enough, buddy. Fastest man alive—pfft! No wonder these people were confused,” Hal needled, grinning at Flash’s sheepish shrug before addressing the board members again. “Don’t listen to him. He doesn’t have to _bribe_ anyone. We do our best to be accommodating because the kids get such a kick out of it but speaking for myself, if he offers Jitters I won’t say no.”

“A sensible policy,” the chair said with a small smile. “I apologize for the misunderstanding gentlemen. It was wrong of us to presume. Since Flash can’t approve the request for us do either of you know who might be able to give us an answer?”

“That’s...actually a very good question. Flash?” Hal prompted, turning to Barry. He felt a little bad putting his friend on the spot like that but he hated having to throw the towel in and admit total ignorance.

He shouldn’t have worried. Barry’s fits of cluelessness were usually short lived and this one was no exception.

“The Justice League has a liaison with the United Nations,” Barry admitted slowly, causing Hal to hit himself in the forehead. _Well, duh. Why didn’t I think of that? Probably because the League responds before we have to be called in most of the time._

“Their primary purpose is to coordinate League support during emergencies, but they should be familiar with all established request protocols,” Barry explained, either unaware of Hal’s lapse or ignoring it. “They should either be able to help you or direct you to someone who can.”

“I still want my Jitters,” Hal reminded a few minutes later, letting his Green Lantern uniform fade once they’d successfully extricated themselves from the conference room of embarrassed and appreciative board members and were clear of the hospital.

“You’ll get it,” Barry said absently, trying to get rid of his ‘hood-hair’ by vigorously finger-combing it.

Never one to pass up a brilliant opening, Hal put on his best Han Solo attitude. “I’d better!” Barry grinned and didn’t disappoint.

“You will! Seriously, though when have I ever refused to buy it for you?” Barry said, rolling his eyes like Hal was being ridiculous. Which okay, yes, he kind of was, but Jitters was on the line and Hal didn’t take that lightly.

“I just hope I didn’t open Pandora’s Box by mentioning the UN liaison to them,” Barry fretted.

Hal laughed and slapped him on the shoulder. “Are you kidding? That was inspired! No sane person wants to navigate a pile of bureaucratic paperwork. If they try, they’ll take one look and run screaming.”

“Yeah, well, I hope you’re right,” Barry said fervently, pushing open the door to Jitters. “Because I’d really rather not have to explain it at our next League meeting.”


	2. The Watchtower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the JLA receives an unorthodox request from the U.N. liaison office, Batman has a few questions for Flash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it.
> 
> Author notes: This was supposed to be a simple bridging chapter. It was NOT supposed to be this much trouble to write or take this long to post. It took me three tries, but I think I finally came up with something that works. Hope you enjoy. :-)

_“Recognize, Flash.”_

Barry waited impatiently as the Watchtower computer verified his identity and announced his arrival. The regular Founders meeting had unexpectedly been moved up an hour and fifteen minutes so it wasn’t _completely_ his fault he was ten minutes late.

Putting his long legs to good use, Barry made a beeline to the conference room, only acknowledging greetings from other League members with a smile or wave as he went. He reached his destination with an apology ready on his lips but to his surprise only Batman was inside waiting for him.

“You’re late,” Bruce pointed out unnecessarily from his customary seat at the head of the table. “Fortunately I put in a little padding so we still have an hour before the others arrive.”

“You’re too kind,” Barry said, taking the seat Batman indicated with a black-gloved hand. “So…what’s up?”

Instead of replying, Batman pulled up a slide deck on one of the large monitor screens and chose one of the slides under ‘new business.’ Curious, the speedster read through the text and felt his stomach sink. It was a formal request from their United Nations liaison on behalf on the Central City Children’s Hospital.

  _Oh, great…_ Barry sighed to himself. He hadn’t heard a peep since he’d suggested the hospital chairperson contact the U.N. and had resolved to keep his mouth firmly shut until he did. This _really_ hadn’t been one of his more stellar weeks. He should have realized the request would go to the Justice League at large and not him specifically once he passed the buck.

“Care to explain?” Batman asked neutrally.

Barry grimaced then decided to just be grateful Bruce had decided to interrogate him in private rather than in front of the others. “Sorry Bruce,” he apologized aloud. “I guess Hal was right.” Batman frowned.

“Right about what?”

“He told me I should give the team a heads up immediately but I wanted to wait until the request was confirmed,” Barry explained. “I wasn’t sure the hospital board would follow through and I didn’t want to stir up the team prematurely.”   

Bruce mulled that over. “What was Lantern’s role in this?”

Barry shrugged. “Not much. GL was there when it happened—taking a break in Central on his way back to Coast from Metropolis.”

“And what happened, exactly?”

"Remember this past Christmas when I asked if anyone was free to visit the Children’s Hospital with me? And Clark, Hal, and Diana managed to show up without anything popping up?”

“Yes,” Batman replied.

“Then word got out, the press showed up, and Iris West’s ‘local human interest piece’ got picked up by all the major networks and broadcast worldwide?”

“Yes,” Batman repeated, drawing out the word in a decidedly ‘get to the point’ kind of way.

“Well, that combined with the visits I make on my own and when someone is in town made the Children’s Hospital Board come to the wrong conclusion. They wanted to schedule a League appearance at their annual fundraiser, and they asked me to make that happen.”

“You.”

“Yes, me,” Barry replied shortly, feeling slightly stung at the mixture of humor and disbelief that colored his friend’s response.

“And what did you say?” Bruce asked.

“What did I say?” Barry echoed incredulously. “What _could_ I say? I told them I didn’t have the authority to commit League resources. I told them we couldn’t promise to be somewhere at a certain date and time because we might have to deal with an emergency.”

“But you didn’t tell them no.”

Surprised, Barry opened his mouth then closed it again.

“They assumed you had authority you did not. You could have shut them down right then and there, but it didn’t occur to you did it?” Bruce asked, watching him closely.

 _Here it comes,_ Flash thought, bracing for one of the ‘What Were You Thinking?’ lectures Bruce kept squirreled up his sleeve, ready to whip out at a moment’s notice. He waited expectantly then realized Batman seemed to be doing the same. Barry found that odd until he realized he’d thought ahead again and hadn’t actually answered the question. That was easy enough to fix.

“No.”

“Why?”

“Honestly? They caught me off guard. The question came out of nowhere,” Barry replied. “Ask Hal, I’m sure he’d love to tell you how confused I was. I expected them to back off when I said I couldn’t help but they didn’t. If I couldn’t be of use they asked if I knew anyone who could.”

Batman hummed noncommittally, steepling his fingers in front of his face. “Why the liaison?” he wanted to know next.

Barry shrugged. “The liaison knows the U.N. communication protocols backwards and forwards; I don’t. I figured his office was the best resource to learn if that kind of help was available.”

Batman narrowed his eyes at Barry pinning him with the lower level ‘paint-peeling’ version of his normal ‘be-thankful-looks-can’t-really-kill’ Batglare. “In other words, you didn’t want to refuse. You were hoping a protocol existed that was tailored to this request.” Batman pressed.

Barry crossed his arms stubbornly. “So what if I was? That funding plays a big part in how many reduced cost and pro bono cases they’re able to take on in a year. I wanted to help,” he admitted.

“Of course you did. You wouldn’t be the Flash if you didn’t.”

“That’s not fair and you know it. It would be like me saying ‘you wouldn’t be Batman if you did’ and we both know both statements are grossly oversimplified.”

“Fine,” Batman agreed grudgingly. “Let’s start again. Since expanding our membership the Justice League has become a little _too_ efficient at what we do. We detect and jump on most emergencies before anyone has time to call for help, rendering the liaison office mostly redundant. They love the idea of having more work to do and latched onto Central City’s request like a lifeline. They’ll _make_ one of our existing protocols work or hammer out a new one if necessary.”

Barry frowned and spread his hands. “And this is bad news why?”

“Because,” Batman growled, sounding like he was just keeping control of his temper, “the diplomats and the liaison office got the U.N. representatives stirred up by presenting this as a wonderful opportunity. They want the Justice League to appear on demand like some kind of dog and pony show. They’re so delighted about becoming our new scheduling office they’ve completely forgotten the liaison staff was put in place to help coordinate minor emergency involvement.”

“And you’re worried about what that will mean for the League. I get it,” Barry tacked on, when Bruce paused to glare at him some more. “Oh, come on,” he said with a frown when Batman stopped trying to reduce him into ashes with his eyeballs and blinked at him curiously instead. “I’m an optimist, not an idiot. We’re talking about a global request pool that could get unmanageable in a hurry, having to show up in a variety of locations—including unfamiliar and potentially hostile ones, and having to deal with the entire team’s bad guy baggage on top of that. If our more ruthless enemies start to target events we risk municipal damage and civilian casualties. So where does that leave us? If we give a flat no, we’ll be pilloried in the court of public opinion even if that would be the smartest thing to do. If we say yes, we’ll need to tread carefully and manage expectations so we don’t set a dangerous precedent or put lives at risk. Does that about cover it or did I miss something important?”

Whatever Batman expected him to say it clearly hadn’t been that. _I think I stripped the gears in his brain box,_ Barry thought, mentally giving himself a point for shocking Batman speechless. Hal was never going to believe this.

Batman stared at him for a few more seconds, then blinked again and seemed to come back to himself. “No, you’re very accurate. I’m just…surprised you see things that way, especially given your activities.”

Barry tilted his head. “I don’t quite follow.”

Batman shook his head, looking at the Flash like he was some puzzle he couldn’t quite crack. “You laid out the arguments I was going to present to you almost verbatim, yet you make regular public appearances all over Central City in broad daylight. The fiasco with the Children’s Hospital was based on your behavior patterns. Don’t you see you’re risking children’s lives?” he asked incredulously. “I’m amazed your Rogues haven’t done real damage with all the opportunities you give them.” 

Barry felt his mouth drop open. “Whoa, whoa, whoa.  There’s nothing wrong with my awareness and any risks I take are minimal,” he argued, more insulted than he’d ever been. “For your information the dictionary doesn’t define ‘careful’ as ‘operates exclusively at night, lurks in the shadows and scares the crap out of people’.”

Normally, it was almost impossible to bait Batman so Flash was surprised when Bruce fired back, “It doesn’t define ‘careful’ as, ‘takes unnecessary risks, dresses like a living target, and goes too easy on people,’ either. If I behaved like you do in Gotham I’d be dead!”

Barry pinched the bridge of his nose trying to figure out how to say (in the nicest possible way) that for a normally logical guy Bruce was being unreasonably bullheaded. He finally threw both hands in the air and exploded, “Not all cities are like Gotham!” about the same time Bruce held out a scolding finger and growled, “Not all cities are like Central!”

They stared at each other in silence for a couple of seconds then Barry got the giggles and slumped back in his chair snickering silently into his hand.

“When you’re quite finished,” Bruce said, crossing his arms and sounding so much like Alfred Barry lost all decorum and dissolved into helpless laughter. Looking up at his companion’s grumpy face, he tried valiantly to get himself back under control.

“Sorry,” he said finally, “okay. I think we may both be guilty of letting our usual environments and MO’s color our perception of other places.”

Batman frowned a little at that assertion, but seemed more intrigued than annoyed. “Explain.”

“Well, in case it’s slipped your notice, darkness isn’t exactly my friend. My lightning makes me stand out like a freaking neon sign after nightfall. I’m actually _less_ conspicuous in the daytime, even with the snazzy red suit. And while my Rogues aren’t exactly sweethearts, they do have a code they live by and lines they don’t usually cross. Attacking me where innocents could be hurt or robbing a children’s charity fund drive isn’t their style.”

“Even Professor Zoom?” Batman countered.

Flash sighed because, _okay, point._ “Allow me to rephrase. _Except for a few notable outliers_ , my Rogues have lines they don’t usually cross. The ones I tangle with on a regular basis go out of their way to avoid harming innocents.” He looked up at Batman who was studying him intently.

“Look, I have a more public persona partly because it fits who I am and mostly because _Central City allows me to_ ,” he explained earnestly. “Like the Rogues there are exceptions, but on the whole Central City is a friendly, laid back town. It has an average crime rate for its size and most of the citizens think having a resident superhero is pretty cool. Other places don’t allow the same flexibility—Gotham for instance. It’s larger, meaner, more uptight, has corruption on top of concentrated crime pockets and most of your bad guys are just plain nuts.”

Bruce hummed in agreement. “So the main takeaway here is you have a forgiving environment you can leverage and I don’t. We’re two ends of a spectrum so to speak.”

Flash thought that over and nodded his agreement. “Sure, you could say that, although I see it more like this.” Rising, Barry walked to the white board along the long side of the table and drew a simple bell curve with a red marker. “If we plotted League members individually by the environment, it would probably look something like this: extremely accommodating all the way to extremely challenging with most falling somewhere in the middle.”

Batman joined him at the white board and uncapped a black marker. “Agreed. A graph of our enemies would be similar,” he said, drawing a second diagram, “except the distribution would be simple nuisance to verified global threat.”

“Okay, so, for the sake of argument, we could postulate that you and I exist here and here,” Barry said, drawing a little ‘F’ on the far left end of environment graph, and a little ‘B’ on the far right. “ _And_ except for the aforementioned outliers, my Rogues fall mostly here,” Barry said, indicating an area mostly to the left and slightly to the right of center with a set of parentheses, “and yours are almost exclusively here,” he finished, plucking the black marker out of Bruce’s hand and drawing another set of parentheses slightly to the left and mostly to the right of center.

Batman accepted his marker back but shook his head as he studied the graphs. Barry could almost hear the gears clicking away behind that bat-shaped cowl of his. “These factors are enablers—data to look at to determine overall risk. Useful, I’ll grant you, but there’s a piece missing. For example, why doesn’t the press cover your visits on the news more?”

Barry shrugged. “Scheduling, mostly. The main thing that sets me apart from the other volunteers is my availability. I can’t commit to a set schedule. I give what time I can when the city is quiet but I never know when that will be.”

“And that works,” Batman said, back in full detective mode now. “This initial model is slightly off. Environment is important, but lack of scheduling is key. It allows an air of unpredictability making targeting difficult.”

“It does,” Barry agreed. “I also try to vary where I go. Staff members don’t like having to deal with a bunch of curious onlookers—including the press--so they've learned not to tip my position. The hospital thing is my fault, though. I guess I have been going there a lot lately,” he admitted, after a pause. “There are a couple of terminal cases. I didn’t think changing routine would matter short term. If I’d kept my usual rotation the board might not have asked to speak to me.”

“Perhaps,” Bruce allowed, squeezing Barry’s shoulder in a rare show of solidarity before turning his attention back to the whiteboard. “On the other hand they might have asked anyway. We have no way of knowing,” he pointed out, drawing two columns labeled ‘problems’ and ‘mitigations.’

“Contrary to popular belief, I’m pragmatic, not heartless,” Bruce said, startling a laugh out of Barry as he started filling in the columns. “I make no promises, but if we think creatively enough we might— _might_ —be able to engineer this idiocy without losing our minds in the process. For example, the Wayne Foundation has strategies that might be useful here,” he said, tapping the board where he’d written ‘numerous requests.’ Let’s review what we know and get this in some sort of order before the others arrive.”

oOo

_“Recognize Superman, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg.”_

“But Clark, it’s a sure thing!” Hal said with a grin continuing the conversation he’d started over the comms before the group of heroes took their respective zeta wave transports to the Watchtower.

“How is it betting if it’s a sure thing, Hal?” Arthur asked, amused as the group of Founders made their unhurried way from the arrival pad to the conference room.

“We all know Barry is usually late. That's the sure thing,” Hal explained. “The wager will how late he shows up. Whoever guesses closest to the actual number of minutes late he is wins!”

“I’m not sure I approve of using our comrade’s temporal difficulties in games of chance,” Diana put in dubiously. “He might think we are making fun of him.”

"Oh, he'll _know_ we're making fun of him, Princess," Hal said with a grin, "but if you like long odds you can choose an on time arrival as your wager."

“And what if he doesn’t show up at all?” Victor asked. “Like if he’s hurt or has an emergency to handle?”

 _Bite your tongue,_ Hal thought, automatically taking out his phone to look for new messages. “If he doesn’t show up at all then all bets are off,” he allowed, “but Barry’s pretty good about letting people know if he’s going to be a no show and as of now I have no new texts. Come on. Please? It will be fun. Barry doesn’t have to know. We won’t even bet high. Just a buck each.” He paused when he saw Clark covering a little smile with his hand. “Something to share with the class, Supes?”

“I just reconsidered,” Superman said, pulling a dollar bill out of a little pocket most of them had built into their boots. Displaying it, he grinned at Hal. “I’m in.”

“Awesome!” Hal said, trying not to smile too widely. If Clark played, chances were good the others would follow his lead, and sure enough they did. In short order they all had money in their hands and had given him a number. Bets on Barry’s arrival time ranged from 5 to 20 minutes late until he got back around to Clark for his guess.”

“Negative 5.”

Hal blinked. “You mean like 5 minutes early?” He quickly checked the time. “Like now?”

“Uh-huh,” Clark said, grinning in an uncharacteristically wolfish way.

It didn’t take Hal long to put the pieces together. “I didn’t say you could use your frigging super hearing!” he objected.

“You didn’t say he couldn’t, either,” Arthur pointed out, grinning at the joke. “Is anyone else early?”

“Batman,” Clark said surprising no one. He waved off his ‘winnings’ with one of his normal good-natured smiles. “I’ve been listening since we got to the Watchtower. Their debate is all over the map—distribution models, risk management, targeting strategies, team vs. solo dynamics, the characteristics of certain charities…” he trailed off and shrugged. “It sounds like they’re trying to get some data together to share with us.”   

“Intriguing,” Diana said, palming the door open. “Let’s not keep them waiting.”

**Author's Note:**

> And there it is. This is a brand new fandom for me. Hope it didn't disappoint. :)


End file.
